Rahmailis (18259)
Nk-2 / 2010
Writing I
Wonder woman in my life
I have an idol in my life, it is my mother. She is a good woman. She raised and gave her family a true love. Her name is Nirtati Zeda but her family calls her Tat. She was born on November 28 th 1960 in Supayang, Batusangkar.
My mother comes from a big family. She has one step-mother, one father and Lucky She has five step sisters and two step brothers. From her real mother she has only one sister her name is Irdah Zeda and my idol is the youngest one. My idol is so close with her family; their family can be a friend to her.
my mother and I |
Her education story was elementary school in Batusangkar and she continued her study at Candung. There she was a good student and got high mark and she was active. After that she continued her study in IAIN Imam Bonjol Padang. After her graduated she goes to Palembang. There she became a teacher in senior high school. She taught religion education until she had married.
My idol loves reading a book. She spends her free time for read and she always want to improve her knowledge. She makes a note in her book if she has finish reading, it is like resume. Beside that she loves singing. I think her voice is good enough.
She is a patient and wonder woman, she never lost her spirit. She always makes her life fun and colorful. She also is a wise mother, if her children make a mistake she can gives punishment. It happened when her children very naughty. Besides that she understands about my feeling. When I have a problem she will give advice to me without I talk her first. My idol can make me feel comfortable beside her.
My mother is my idol. She never stop teaches me to do something. I get much experience from her; I know something that I do not know before. I find that from my mother. She is a wonder woman and good looking with a pure love to her family and I know she does not want make her family sad. I love my mother so much.
4 komentar:
Hi Amii Gummy,.
Well, your essay is good,.
But I still find some mistakes,.
Let see,.
Paragraph 1 Line 2
"She raised and gave her family a true love"
Does she give raise and give her family a true love until now?
I think it's good to you to write in present tense.
Paragraph 5 line 2
"she always want to improve her knowledge"
Correct: she always wants to improve her knowledge.
I think that's all,.
so far so good,.
Just keep writing,.
:)
NB: do not forget to give your comment on my blog,.
Thanks
:)
hy ami :)
*in paragraph 1 and 5
i think you can writo more information about it.
*in the last paragraph
"I find that from my mother"
i think it is mubazir.
always try to writing a good essay :)
amie,,
so far your essay is good enough,,
but keep pay attention about grammar, diction and punctuation mark,,,
that's from me!!
keep writing!!
:)
dde amie,
so far your essay is good enough,,
But I still find some mistakes,.
Paragraph 5 line 2
"she always want to improve her knowledge"
Correct: she always wants to improve her knowledge.
but keep pay attention about grammar, diction and punctuation mark,,,
that's all from me :)
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